I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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