it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize