we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
