u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
