Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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