Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
