Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
