he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
