He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
