They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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