...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
