I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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