fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
