The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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