Can i not drive my cunt home
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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