In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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