i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Pants are for mortals
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
