uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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