I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
