hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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