you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
