Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize