I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Randomize
