Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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