All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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