dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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