Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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