If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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