Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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