I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize
