I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
ttyl tear gas
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
