He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Randomize
