Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
