office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize