he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
