Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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