Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
