it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
