She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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