WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
