The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
