JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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