p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
