if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
