just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
