I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
