Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
