is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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