At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
