i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
