Swine flu. Run for my life!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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