isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
