My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
