1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
