Hey man sorry I got all grabby
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize