Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
